still holding my breath

two days later
and the bump (or induration)
was exactly 10mm

exactly 10mm larger
than i wanted it to be

and put me on the cusp
of negative and positive

she sided with caution
and checked positive

and sent me
to strip down
and hold deep breaths
in radiology

who sent me home
to wait
another two days

tb skin test

she wasn’t wrong
it did feel like a bee sting
a slight pinch
where the point went in
and it looked like a bee sting
the way the skin reddened
and swelled roundly
in response to the ppd
and my fingers have been
drawn to the wheal
so like a bee sting’s

but instead of constantly
wildly scratching at it
with no care
for how it might grow
i only sometimes
lightly, absently rub
hoping the firm bump
will not widen
before she measures it
in the morning