they’re planning a trip
for sometime next year
to the only place mom
ever wants to “vacation”
thought that might change after
ma died a few years ago
but i was wrong

i’ve been three times
every three years since ’03
it’s been almost four
since the last trip
when i made sure
to get lots of pictures
and videos of ma

i have a clip of her
saying “hello” and “okay”
in english and complaining
in khmer about how
her mouth isn’t used to
making such strange sounds

i don’t know if i want to
go this time and visit
the chedey i’ve only seen
in pictures to say goodbye

maybe i’d rather rewatch
the video of the two of us
exchanging “hello”s