smiling does not come
naturally to me
it is often a very
conscious decision
a deliberate weighing
of when to smile
whom to smile at
what type of smile to employ
how long to hold the smile

you were standing
at the northwest corner
of 12th and Broadway
waiting for me to emerge
from the BART station

I saw you two seconds
before you saw me
our eyes met
and in that moment
the decision was
no longer mine